No Tomorrow
by Reecie Girl
Summary: *Minor Season 1 Finale Spoilers* After escaping capture and returning to The Ghost, Kanan Jarrus is awoken by nightmares unlike ones he's had in the past. Luckily, someone else is also awake, with a cup of tea and willing ear.


(Warning! Minor spoilers of the season 1 finale!)

Kanan Jarrus tossed and turned in his sleep within his cabin on The Ghost. The Jedi was use to restless nights; years ago he would combat them by drinking himself into a stupor that no nightmare could penetrate. In more recent years, however, his time on board The Ghost has filled his nights with much happier dreams, reducing the nightmares to only once or twice a month. Most were dark visions of his past, but this one was brought on by much more recent events. His capture and torture left him more scarred than he realized. Kanan's mind raced as he relived the feeling of nearly losing Ezra and the painful sadness as he watched Hera flying away by his own command, leaving him behind...

Kanan shot up awake at that last thought, breathing heavily. He was unsure as to why that had scared him awake. He was almost sure that losing Ezra, losing any of his family, would be the thing he feared most. As he lay there, trying to calm down enough to fall back to sleep, he heard the clinking of dishes somewhere on the ship. Kanan climbed out of his bunk to investigate and he found Hera in the kitchen, making two cups of tea.

"Oh. Hello, luv." she said as Kanan walked into the room.

"Hey." Kanan replied sleepily. He sat down at the table and Hera set a cup in front of him. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep." Hera replied, sitting across from him with her own cup. "Thought I'd make myself some tea to relax."

"OK, but why two cups?"

"Hmm? Oh..." Kanan gave her a soft smile as Hera looked from her cup to his. "W-well, I started making it and I had this feeling that you'd have another nightmare, so I made one for you, just in case."

"You must be developing force visions, because that's exactly what happened..."

"I don't need Jedi powers to know you, Kanan." Hera told him sweetly. Kanan felt his face get warm as he blushed.

"Oh, is that so?" he asked, running his hand through his hair.

"Yes, it is." she replied, giving him a knowing smile. "For instance, I know you only run your hands through your hair when you're anxious. Or lying." Kanan's hand immediately shot down to his side and he glared at Hera as she laughed at him. "Come on, dear, don't look at me like that! We've been traveling together for a long time. I'm sure you know me just as well."

"I suppose." Kanan said, conceding. They sat in silence for a moment as they sleepily sipped their tea.

"So...Do you want to talk about it?"

"The nightmare? Nah, it was just the typical stuff." Hera gave him a look. "What?"

"Hand, in hair."

"This. Is why. I pull it. Back." Kanan said as he aggressively tied it back into his usual ponytail. Hera giggled, clearly amused.

"So." she said, looking over her teacup at him. Kanan sighed.

"Fine. It wasn't typical. It was...different."

"Different how?"

"Well, normally it's all fear of loss. But this one..." Kanan shook his head. "What...what if I never came back? What if they had killed me? What then?"

"That is always a possibility, of course." Hera told him. "But you've always known that. This isn't new."

"I know, but I've never been that close before."

"So you fear your own death?"

"No, that's not it..." he told her, thinking for a second. "It's more about everything I'd leave behind. Or, everyone..." Kanan absently rubbed an imperfection in his teacup. "I don't want to leave Ezra the way my master left me." They fell into silence again.

"I wish I could tell you that it won't happen, but you know I can't." Hera finally said. "But just know that you are risking all of that so that no one has to feel that kind of pain ever again. And, if something _were_ to happen to you, this crew would get through it. Together."

"You're right. Of course you're right." Kanan said, shaking his head.

"That was the professional answer. Do you want the other one?"

"Huh?"

"I'd miss you."

"You'd..." Kanan was somewhat taken aback by her revelation. He smiled. "You know, this whole situation has gotten me thinking. If there was no tomorrow, would there be anything I'd regret not having done? Or said? And there's this one thing I've been meaning to tell you..."

"Come now, Kanan." Hera said in an exasperated tone. She stood up, taking their empty cups from the table. "We've been over this-"

"Caleb." Hera stopped halfway to the sink and turned towards him.

"What?"

"My name." Kanan said. The seriousness in his voice caused Hera to slowly return to her seat. "Caleb Dume. I figure someone on this ship should know, just in case."

"Kanan," Hera said, concerned. "You know how dangerous information can be. There must be a reason you've kept this secret for so long. If _I_ were to be captured and tortured-" Kanan gently put his hand on hers.

"Then you'll just have to keep it to yourself." he told her. "I trust you, Hera. Hell, you were the first person I trusted after a long, _long_ time. I'd hate myself if I never got the chance to tell you."

"Kanan, I don't know what to say..."Silence fell once more, but this time it came with a bit of awkwardness that Kanan had to break.

"Come on captain! Don't get all sentimental on me!" Kanan gave her a sly grin.

"Hey!" Hera said, slapping his hand. Kanan laughed out loud as she pouted, picked up the teacups, and stormed off to the sink. After all these years, he still loved messing with her. Hera set the cups in the sink and turned back towards him.

"You are still a mystery, aren't you Caleb Dume?" she said, smiling affectionately. "Come on. The kids will be up soon, help me whip up some food." Kanan stood up and started to pull out ingredients. After everything he went through that caused him to change his name, he thought he never wanted to hear the words 'Caleb Dume' ever again. But hearing Hera say them with that melodic voice she had...

Suddenly, it didn't seem so bad.


End file.
